Kelly Grey Carlisle: Searching for Personal Truth through Writing

Kelly Grey Carlisle in her intro to non-fiction class
(photo by Sarah Wysocki) 

By Sarah Wysocki

Kelly Grey Carlisle, Trinity professor of creative non-fiction writing, searches for the truth about her past and her mother’s murder in her newly published book, We Are All Shipwrecks. Though she did not know what she would find in her investigation, she dove in to her mother’s cold case, at the time, decades old.

Many know the professor side of Carlisle--a funny, well-read and well-written woman who cares deeply about her students. Some even know a bit of her personal side--41, married, mother of two young girls, who are 6 years and 19 months old. But there’s more to the story than what is seen on the outside.

Carlisle never intended on being a professor. Her initial interest was in writing and publishing. However, while taking a position as the managing editor of Prairie Schooner at the University of Nebraska–Lincoln, she mentored interns and taught them the inner workings of the magazine. There she realized her love for teaching. While working at the magazine and getting her doctorate, she decided that “being a college professor would be really cool because I could combine all the things I was interested in doing, like writing, publishing and teaching.”

She chose to write non-fiction over fiction or poetry because she “was not good at making stuff up.” Instead, she had a true story to tell. That story would turn into a 14-year journey that eventually led to We Are All Shipwrecks.

Her journey started in 2005 with her essay, Familiar. Then another essay, and another one. Essay by essay, Carlisle realized she had the workings of something much greater. After being rejected 14 times, the manuscript of the book was finally published in September 2017.

We Are All Shipwrecks is a memoir about Carlisle’s life and her search for the truth about her mother’s murder. Her mother was strangled. Carlisle was 3 weeks old when it happened. The case is still unsolved. From growing up on a boat with her grandfather who owned an adult video store to talking with LAPD officers about her mother’s case, Dr. Carlisle’s life was far from ordinary. The book is less about the murder per se and more about her life and her journey living in a tragic and unusual household.

Carlisle said she wrote her memoir not only for herself but also for others. She wanted the idea of what is normal and what is weird in a family to be erased in favor of the idea of what is a loving family. “Families come in all shapes and sizes, and so do people,” she said.

The people described in her book are weird and strange, but most of them are also very loving. They helped Carlisle and looked out for her. She wants her book to show that people who are outside the norm can still be good people. “Weird is irrelevant. What’s important is goodness and love,” and therefore people should try to help each other, she said.

Carlisle doesn’t just say this, but also practices it. “Dr. Carlisle is the type of person you can go to for anything, whether it be school related or personal. She’s always there to help you out,” said Kirsten Timco, sophomore English major.

For the aspiring writers out there, Carlisle encourages them to “read a lot, and it doesn’t matter what. It matters what you read is the good stuff. This can be the New York Times or the New Yorker.” She also wants people to know that “If you’re going to get published and you're going to finish it, it is all on you. No one can do it for you.”